I Just Had an Epiphany. I Was Thinking About It Backward.
I am aware that in certain ways I approach life I am not “typical.” There are perhaps many examples of that in my life, but the one I am focused on here is this: My vocation is not simply a place for me to earn money. It is first and foremost a place for me to grow. I pick vocations that intrigue and inspire me… and generally also stretch me. When the inspiration or stretching (or both) are gone, when I am spending way too much time just “going through the motions,” when all I am getting from my vocation is money, it is time to make a change. And, in my life I’ve done that. Some of the changes have been subtle, but significant shifts. Sometimes, however, the changes have been radical. Lately, some of the changes have involved just dropping certain things to simplify. You have to learn to say no to the good, so you can say yes to the best.
With the passage of time (I’m now seventy-two as I draft this) and a suitably extensive history of such patterns of behavior, I’ve been able to reflect on this practice and have some definite conclusions. All the changes, especially the most radical, have always landed me in a better place. Each time I end up with the right kinds of challenges, better aligned with my current skills and interests. I am happier and I have also found that my income (calculated on a per hour basis) has literally 10Xed in the last 10 years. To be clear, however, where I am today vocationally would not have been possible for me 30 years ago. I did not have the skills, interests, or vision to do what I do now. (And that is how I think it should be.)
For me, there are “indicators” that appear when the need to make changes approaches. I get bored with what used to inspire me. As I engage in specific tasks in a vocation, I notice that the challenge of doing these tasks has been transformed into simply drudgery, because I have the task suitably mastered. My tolerance for the aspects of my work that seem to require it dissolves. These are all indicators that it is just a matter of time before the only thing I am getting from my vocation is a paycheck and that is just not ok with me. And, if I do not honor these indicators quickly enough, my attitude toward my work deteriorates to something I just don’t like or want to do. (I’ve learned that over the past few decades. So, now, I’ve learned to accelerate the process of making changes.)
Recently, some of these indicators have begun to appear. There is a difference this time. I am enjoying my work. Plus, I am very aware that I am making an important difference in the lives of quite a few people in ways that I am at least somewhat uniquely qualified to make. (I have no illusions about not being replaceable. Everyone is replaceable, but it is clear that there is still some uniqueness to what I do and how I go about it.) So, it feels like my current vocation is not something I can just trash and walk away from, as I have with some vocations in the past. It needs to evolve into something else where I can contribute more value.
The logical question to ask is obvious: How can I add more value to those I serve in such a way that it also restores my interest, curiosity, and enjoyment while also providing appropriate challenges for me? And the answer was… I didn’t know. I’ve spent quite a bit of time (weeks or more, really) trying to figure this out, getting nowhere, and then it happened.
I had an epiphany.
The emphasis in my question was on serving others. No. The question should have been and has become this: What do I want to do that will really inspire me, light me up, such that by engaging in it, I will grow and expand? Because, if I do that, within those areas I expanded into, new opportunities will appear that may present me with what I need to be doing vocationally, that is the proper fit for me and will also serve others.
I had it backwards. The way you change the world (actually, the only way to change the world) is to change yourself. There is no “which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” kind of thing. The horse has to come before the cart. It feels like I was not getting answers before, because I was looking for something that will only appear on the other side of change.
When I reframed the question, I immediately had an answer. I find that more than a little interesting. The answer was THERE. I am reminded of the Rumi quote from back in Issue 14. “What you are seeking is seeking you.” Apparently, when I pointed myself in a different direction, the solution simply came into focus, because it was already there, waiting! Very cool. The question I was asking really hadn’t changed, but the focus of it did and that is what made the difference.
(Where in your life are you stuck and changing the questions you ask and how you ask them could make a difference? One of my favorites is, “What would this look like if it were easy?” Another, “What would need to happen so I could address this and enjoy the process?” These are both powerful reframes you can try for yourself.)
You might be curious about what my answer was. Sorry, we will save for another time (maybe!). What seems to be really important here is that for me (and probably for you) next steps do not necessarily come from a logical thinking sequence. They come from things that spark your curiosity, interest, or intuition. This is so challenging for many because most of us have spent years (decades) polishing our analytical, logical, left-brain thinking skills, skills that can tend to dull our sense of curiosity and intuition.
So, my next chapter wasn’t uncovered when I focused on working harder, serving more people, or finding a clever strategy. It was about asking the right question, the one that pointed me back toward what’s alive in me. Because when that’s lit, the rest tends to take care of itself.
If you found this issue helpful and want to hear more from Greg, be sure to subscribe to his podcast, Pants Around Ankles Prevention, where each episode delivers a punch of truth to help you wake up, gain perspective, and live with greater clarity and purpose. Listen and subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or YouTube.
This issue was originally published by Greg Hayne on Substack.