Who’s Writing Your Script?
There’s a quote attributed to Jim Rohn that’s been bouncing around in my head lately:
“If you don’t design your life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”
It’s funny, or maybe it’s tragic, how easy it is to drift into living a life someone else imagined for us. It could be a parent, a spouse, a boss, a buddy, anyone. It doesn’t happen all at once. No one hands you a fully written script on your 18th birthday and says, “Here, follow this word-for-word.” It happens gradually. First, you take a job because it’s practical. Then you stay in that job because it’s stable. Then you start making choices to avoid disappointing your spouse or because you need to support your family.
And before you know it, you’re living in a story you didn’t write. It's a story that might have made sense to someone else, it might even have once made sense to you, but it leaves you wondering why, despite all your busyness, there’s this nagging emptiness right under the surface.
I’m not preaching here. I’ve lived this. Parts of my career, especially early on, were more about following the path I thought was expected of me than consciously choosing the path that fit who I was becoming. I was lucky. The early paths I was on were always reasonably close to what was best for me. Even so, early on, I had to scrap the whole plan and start over. What I’ve learned, over and over again, is that no one’s coming to hand you a finished script. You need to take a blank page, put a pen it and create it.
So let me ask you now: Who’s writing your script?
If you’re not sure, here’s a simple exercise. Grab your journal or a blank pad of paper.
Write down all the “shoulds” that are driving your decisions right now.
I should stay in this career.
I should go to that family event.
I should want to retire at 65.
I should be grateful for what I have.
I should care more about _______.
Once you have the list, go back and write next to each one: Whose voice is this?
Is it your parents?
A long-gone boss?
The culture you grew up in?
Someone you’ve been trying to impress since you were 12?
There’s nothing wrong with external voices. Some of them are wise and loving. But some are outdated. Worse, some are even toxic. Even those that are well-intended are colored by their author’s biases. Some don’t belong in the story you want to tell anymore. The goal isn’t to silence every voice. It is to make sure the loudest voice belongs to you.
You are always writing your script, whether you realize it or not. The question is, are you doing it consciously, or are you just reading lines someone else wrote?
Most people never take the time to sit down and question the story they’re living inside. They just keep moving forward, page after page, scene after scene, without ever pausing to ask who’s holding the pen. And the further you get into someone else’s script, the harder it feels to rewrite it.
But here’s the truth: It’s never too late to change the story. It’s just harder the longer you’ve been asleep to the fact you’re even in one. As I’m writing this, I’m 72 years old and there is a new script forming for me, based on my unique ability (See Issue 5), my interests, and my priorities. Frankly, each time this happens, life gets more interesting.
So let’s wake up.
Here’s an exercise I’ve done myself (more than once), and I can promise you, it’s uncomfortable. That’s how you know you’re onto something worth your attention.
1 - Grab your journal (or a blank piece of paper, but I recommend your journal; this deserves a permanent home). Without overthinking, start writing out the story of your life as if someone else wrote it for you. Don’t try to be deep or clever. Just describe your life as it currently stands, but in the third person.
He went to college because that’s what everyone expected.
He took a job in the family business because it was the easiest choice.
He stayed in the job even though it never fit, because it paid well and people thought he was good at it.
He always wanted to ______, but that was never practical, so he left it behind.
Don’t filter. Don’t judge. Don’t leave out the embarrassing parts. Just write.
2 - Go back through what you wrote and underline every time you see the word “should,” or anything that hints at obligation, expectation, or compromise. This is where you find the fingerprints of other people’s authorship.
3 - Now, write the first page of the story you want.
Start with:
“The moment he realized it was his story to write, everything changed.”
And go from there. What does your story look like if you’re the one holding the pen, with no one looking over your shoulder?
This is not an easy exercise. Most people won’t do it. They’ll think about it, maybe even feel inspired by the idea, but they won’t sit down and write. If you do, you’ll be among the few who are living their life, instead of reading someone else’s lines.
I’ll leave you with one final thought, and you may want to write this down somewhere you’ll see it often:
"If you don’t have a plan for your life, you’ll become part of someone else’s plan." - Tony Robbins
If you’re serious about waking up and reclaiming the pen, your next move is obvious. Start writing.
If you want help with the next steps, you know where to find me. If you want more depth, you might find this helpful: www.whatsnextcourse.com
If you found this issue helpful and want to hear more from Greg, be sure to subscribe to his podcast, Pants Around Ankles Prevention, where each episode delivers a punch of truth to help you wake up, gain perspective, and live with greater clarity and purpose. Listen and subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or YouTube.